Aaargh…

Stupid AIM isn’t working. Won’t let me log on, and won’t tell me why. Effers, the whole lot of them.

Welcome to a new way to communicate. A new source of news, information, and computer software. Introducing - American Online.

"Hey, with American Online, I can just point and click!" *click click* "No, wait."

With American Online, you can send and receive e-mail, even across the Internet.

"Hey, I've got e-mail! Okay, I open the mailbox..." *click* *beep* "No, that's not it. Maybe I..." *click* *beep beep* "No. Damn!" *click click click*

American Online puts you in touch with information resources all across the country.

"How do you get this thing... open? Open!! Application in use?? What application?? I can't even start any application!!!"

Call now for your free trial. You'll get free software and ten hours of free online time your first month. Which you can spend trying to figure out how to open your e-mail box.

*beeeeeeeeeeeep* "Socket timed out?? What does that mean?!?! Jesus, I hate this thing!!!"

American Online. It's knowledge. It's power.

"IT SUCKS!!!"

You can listen to it here. (EDIT: Or not.)