After so many months …

I have my own domain name. Heck, I have two. Why update with the LiveJournal? Because I don’t want people to think that I don’t update. Anyway, I’m still in school, and I’m still working. I guess the biggest change in my life is the fact that I moved out of my parents’ place. Amazing, huh?

Well, I’ve been feeling depressed lately. I guess lots of things are weighing down on me. I woke up two days ago and the first thought that came to my mind was, “I’m unhappy with my life.” I’m sure that everybody feels that way from time to time. However, I wasn’t going to sit back and take it. I went to school, albeit three hours late, and trudged into class as a shell of what I used to be. Everything I used to be was shattered. I’m still picking up the pieces, even now. I now feel as though anything I do now is useless and is just delaying the inevitable – I’m going to stay unhappy for the rest of my life. I’m going to get a job that I’m good at, but hate doing. I’m going to get a wife who I care about and treat well, but I won’t really love her. I’m going to spend the rest of my days in a town that is relatively safe and comfortable for me, yet I hate it here. I’m going to have only a select circle of friends, but none of them will truly understand why I keep saying “gochisousama” everytime after I’m done eating, or why I spend $70 for a Japanese music CD that I don’t even understand. Eventually, these things will wear me down and I won’t have the motivation or the strength to do anything about my life, and I will just resign myself to my fate. A life without fulfillment or happiness. I wish things weren’t so greener on the other side.

So, I spent the past two days evaluating my life and how I should go about changing it. I WANT TO LIVE IN JAPAN. So simple, yet so difficult. I’ve never done anything like this before. First of all, I don’t know anybody in Japan. Work is harder to find there for gaijin. I barely understand their language, let alone Osaka-ben. I don’t know enough about their culture. I don’t eat fish. Everything is so expensive there. I don’t even have the money saved to go there, let alone live there. I keep spending it on things from Japan. I finally formulated the steps to my solution.

(1) Get a new job (hopefully full-time), and save money. Don’t even think about buying this month’s issue of FHM or Maximum PC.
(2) Learn Japanese, no matter the cost. Even if I have to talk to anime characters to develop normal socialization skills.
(3) Learn Japanese history and customs.
(4) Start drawing again and updating my site frequently.
(5) Get used to eating lots and lots of fish.
(6) Do this within 2 to 3 years.
(7) Start applying for jobs online.
(8) Move to Japan, regardless of job status.

It’s long and hard, but I think it might work. All I have to do is stick to it. Knowing myself, I probably won’t, but at least I have a goal to work at. Anyway, my eyes are drooping, and I have class at 8:20 AM tomorrow. Who cares? I might drop school too. Oyasumi nasai, minna-san.

C-Pop/J-Pop Insight
BoA is one of the hottest teenage girl acts in Japan. She’s pretty, her music is addictive, her dance moves are impressive, and she’s Korean. Not only that, but she’s 14!!! Amazing Kiss is my most favorite song of hers. The PV is kick-ass too, if you can get it, I highly recommend watching it at least once.