He won’t come online at all. I guess I should’ve known it would happen sooner or later – he was always talking about getting his real life back in order. I suppose he finally accomplished that. It’s a shame. After he moved, I slipped away from real life, and I’ve now become the embodiment of what he’s trying to stay away from. Human interaction? I don’t get that anymore – the loud-talking, excitable and friendly guy he knew is gone now… I’ve become docile, depressed, and withdrawn from the public eye. When I’m on my computer again, I feel alive, and I can express myself in a way that I can’t in real life anymore. Real life… is scary.

Vague much? Yep. I don’t want anybody (or him, for that matter) to know who “he” is. Not that he would anyway, since he’s avoiding the wired world, the very air that I breathe. Can’t blame him – so many bad things came to him because of it – so I hope he found his happiness. I have.

And you don't seem to understand
A shame, you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading
I have lost it all

And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame that I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle-lit smile that we both share
And you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning,
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing
Help me to breathe

I don’t usually post song lyrics… but I particularly like this song’s lyrics. It reflects how I felt as a teenager in high school, before I discovered the wired world in which I could escape these feelings – and here I am today. If I could work on the internet, I would do so to eliminate the need to leave the house. Hehehe. Well… unless I have to go to Japan, my other love.

Oh, and in case you didn’t know, it’s the Serial Experiments Lain OP. But if you are a true otaku, you’d know that already. ^_^

Additional Resources

The one with all the Lesson Reviews.

I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with this blog ever since I started using Hummingbird last fall. So, I decided to try an idea of mine called Lesson Reviews. Essentially, it’s more of a “what I learned from X anime” than a review, but the thing is, there will be good and […]


  1. *hugs and sways* ;_;

  2. *and sways and sways and sways*

    *and sways*


  3. *keel, for is all swayed out* X_________X


  4. You haven’t used Ayu-Mi-G-21! Hahaha, talk about flying high!

  5. HAHAHA!! Only you Han, only you!! XD


  6. I’m quite evil.

  7. rosicrucian says


    *hugs like mad*

    I miss everyone, especially those who I used to talk to every night and now won’t give me the time of day in two whole months.. *cough..cough..sigh*

    It’s all good. I wish I had my computer up and running, but I don’t, so I’ve turned to other bad habits. Like spending money.. ;_; or going out all the time.

    wuv you! You can always call me. Call me… Betty…teehee.

  8. Wow, long time no hear! I just discovered this wonderful joy called a “phone card”. Using this “phone card”, I can supposedly call people with prepaid minutes. Isn’t that cool?!?!

    Spending money? I have two computers and I STILL spend money! Hahaha! Well, I don’t get out at all, so that’s probably why I do both…

    I’ll call you Betty! Nyeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaah!!! What an old joke! That movie finally came out, and I bought it right away! Wahahahaha!!

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