I’m staying right here.

Due to illness, the part of me will be played by Patrick Stewart.

“You young pup! YOU YOUNG PUP!! You’re relieved of command! GET OFF MY BRIDGE!! And I will make them pay for what they’ve done…”

After Ian presented the current situation to me last night, I’ve had a lot to ponder. Mom also had a long discussion with me, and unused thinking gears were suddenly moving again. The end result? I’m staying right here.

It seems kind of dumb, since I’ve been going on and on about how I’m moving and everything to everybody – the excitement was clear on my face. However, now that it’s kind of died down, I’ve had a chance to really think things through… I’ve got two loans, I’ve got a job that I enjoy (even though I get stressed out from time to time), and I have my family. I don’t really have a significant other, but that’s okay. I’m not really looking for anybody right now.

Maybe I’m sick of things here. Maybe I’ll get sick of things there. I’m also concerned about getting in the way of Ian and his new life. I know he says it won’t be a bother, but what if it does become a bother? What if I don’t get along with his fiancee? Where will that leave us then? Ian will have to choose, and I don’t want to do that to him either. I would also be screwed, because I am not stable enough to live on my own in the city. No… I think this decision is for the best. Besides… I can stop watching my budget like crazy now! I don’t have to feel guilty for buying that sandwich for lunch. I don’t have to be stressed out 24/7 and not be able to reward myself for a job well done. Most of all, instead of moving down, I can just visit the city once a month and get to know his fiancee before making a final decision. Maybe I’m not sick of this town. Maybe I’m just sick of being stuck here for so long without any escape. I need to get out every once in a while. So… this is my plan. Pay off the loan without stressing about rent and a second job (even though I will get a second job to move it along faster), keep trying to get rid of stuff (just in case things change again and I do end up moving at a later time), and keep trying to invent the warp drive (so that I can sell it and make lots of money).

I should say something witty here. Well, that’s my mama! Hehehehehehe…