Only Myself.

Friends.

They support you when you need it, and keep secrets when you need to confide in them. They also turn on you faster than you can turn on yourself. It’s true when they say that your best friend can be your worst enemy, because they know the most about you. I had two friends turn on me due to a huge misunderstanding, and all of a sudden, I’m the bad guy. I admit that I’m not the kind of guy that’s open about his thoughts and feelings, and I hardly ever get mad. At least, not on the outside. I try to keep my anger in check, bottle it up and toss it out at the end of the day. Sometimes, I can just make a joke about it and laugh with the best of them. I’m like a Chandler Bing. I use humor as a self-defence mechanism. Believe me, it works. But, there’s only so much that a single person can bottle up before spilling contents over, and that’s exactly what happened. Needless to say, I ended up hurting somebody who means a lot to me.

However, when I apologized to this friend, my apology was not accepted. Dishonor is my name. As a Canadian, I would’ve just given it time. But, as a Chinese, it is honor before humility and humility that commands absolution. Without absolution can there no longer be tranquility, and then the mind wars with itself between retribution and peaceful resolution. This time, however, retribution won the war, and I lashed out with thoughts previously kept hidden within the confines of my mind. Thoughts that should never have been made in the first place. But, I digress. I acted in haste, and not in leisure. Not a punishing hand was raised, nor a punishing mouth, but mere facts were spread out on the ground, so as to substantiate my reasons for retribution. Repent? If only I could, for once the words are uttered, forever shall they scar and never be retracted. Yesterday, the hurt one looked upon me with sorrowful eyes and exchanged only the briefest of words. Ah, how decisions can alter lives so profoundly that they become shells of their former selves. Time may mend all wounds, and then again, it may not. Sometimes, wounds never heal, and it is that which I fear the most, rather than the pummeling fists of my former’s significant other. Again, I digress. I only hope that one can realize their faults before the time is nigh. Everybody carries baggage, some red and blue, and others, green and yellow. Different shapes and different contents, but all for the same purpose. There is no absolute baggage, no worser, no lesser. All baggage should be considered equal and treated as such. Let your thoughts dwell upon this.

To Ian: You’ve been helpful for giving me the insight I needed.
To Megan: I hope you will understand what I mean once you read this. I’m sorry.

All bad news aside, there are some good news. I’ve made the decision to return to college next semester. Hopefully, I won’t give up half of the way in again (^_~). I’d like to think that my Japanese has improved, but it hasn’t. I only recognize a handful more of kanji and hiragana, and I have a few more words in my vocabulary, but at least I have pronounciation down pat! Yeah, right. Pronounciation isn’t gonna get me yakisobe when I wanna order it.

I just won an auction for a laptop. I chose a sweet beauty of a laptop, and I even have a friend that can service it for me if something happens to go wrong with it. I’m currently waiting for it to arrive. Hopefully, by next week. I’m so excited! It’s too bad I couldn’t enjoy my sweet victory when I won it, since that was the night that the aforementioned disagreement occurred. ‘Nuff said.

Well, I cancelled one of my DVD boxed sets in favor of getting a laptop. I think it was a wise choice, even if it was Ranma ½. Actually, I didn’t cancel it. In fact, the store said that they never even received the order. Whatta bunch of losers. And where are the rest of my DVDs, you baka???

I started writing again too. My very first series, “Tawainai Seimei”, formerly known as “Wacky Lives”, formerly known as “Lui Han’s Wacky Life”, has gotten a few new facelifts. New inserted episodes! Yay! Let’s advance the plotline further and introduce more complications for our heroes! Yes! It’ll be another six more damn years before I release the damn story to the public! I gotta stop revising it, but it’s my baby, after all. My first major series. Fun!

I should stop talking now. Yeah. Ja ne!

The J-Pop

This new song of Hitomi’s is way addictive. Part rock, part pop, and all melody. It got stuck in my head after I listened to it a couple times. Heck, I didn’t even know what it was when it was still in my head! Anyway, I can’t wait to pick up Hitomi’s new album. I’m hooked on her. I just received her Love Life CD, and it’s fantastic. You gotta love “Kimi ni Kiss” off that CD. Plus, her cover photo is so sexy! GRRRRRRRR!!! Oops. I digress for the last time, I swear! O_o