RantFict #4: Finally Registered

Heihachi sat on his chair, wide awake, but definitely tired. He coughed and sniffled from time to time, indicating sickness of some type. It began with allergies, and eventually spread to a cold. Instead of Mai-chan, though, a different computer was sitting on his desk with Jedi Outcast playing. Ami-chan (the ThinkPad formerly known as Kurumi-chan) was sitting right beside the intruder computer. Hidetoshi arrived just as Heihachi started unplugging it.

Hidetoshi: Hey… umm, that’s not your computer.
Heihachi: No, it isn’t. It actually belongs to Byron, a guy I know. I was just doing a little upgrade for him.
Hidetoshi: (Grins.) What kind of upgrade?
Heihachi: Oh, the usual. Replaced the inferior video card with a less inferior one. I also decided that his case needed a paint job. And a vacrome window. And neon light cables throughout the chassis. Not to mention a water cooling system that effectively eliminates heat by a factor of…
Hidetoshi: (Tapping his foot.) …
Heihachi: (Chuckles nervously while scratching the back of his head.) Heh heh heh…
Hidetoshi: And did he happen to ask for all that?
Heihachi: (Droops his head.) No…
Hidetoshi: (Shrugs.) Oh, well. It’s l33t. I’m sure he’ll like it.
Heihachi: (Grins.) Yep yep!

Heihachi replaced the computer with Mai-chan, plugging everything back into place and starting up the computer. He coughed a couple of times.

Hidetoshi: Hey, are you sick?
Heihachi: Yeah, but don’t worry. It’s only chronic.
Hidetoshi: (His eyes widen to double their size.) WHAT?!
Heihachi: (Flatly.) Kidding.
Hidetoshi: (Flatly.) I knew that.
GLAY: (Walking downstairs with Tric.) What’s the dealio, foolios?
Tric: スーパエクセレーント!
Hidetoshi: (Glares at Heihachi.) WHAT did you DO?
Heihachi: (Sheepishly.) Ah… heh heh heh…I thought that since Tric liked to quote SSX Tricky a lot, I decided to teach him all of Kaori’s quotes.
Hidetoshi: <GLARE! GLARE!>
Heihachi: (In panic.) Oh! Oh!
MugenHAN’s Note: This is actually a joke from JAST’s Three Sisters Story renai game.

GLAY grabbed a chair and sat down while Tric started to pull off several tricks in mid-air. And failing painfully, of course.

GLAY: So, what’s new?
Heihachi: Umm… oh! A big thing! My domain registration is complete! MugenHAN.com is now accessible. I e-mailed my host and there was this huge mix-up, so they fixed it up. It only took less than a couple days to get it up and running.
Hidetoshi: No kidding, huh?
Heihachi: Yeah, but at least everything is up and running. I’m so relieved. Not only that, but just in time before the first weekday of June starts.
Hidetoshi: Very true. How coincidental.
Heihachi: No kidding.
Hidetoshi: Hey, I just noticed something.
Heihachi: What?
Hidetoshi: Well… no offense to you and Tric, GLAY, but isn’t it kinda weird that aside from you and me, the only other characters in your RantFict are clones of Nic?
Heihachi: Not at all. There’s no such thing as too much Nic.
Hidetoshi: That’s not what you were saying in last week’s RantFict.
Heihachi: Umm… well, I… <VIOLENT COUGH!>
GLAY: Are you sick?
Hidetoshi: Couldn’t you have used a more realistic sound effect?
Heihachi: Yes, I am – and no, I didn’t want to.
GLAY: Ah. Some kind of bug you caught downtown or something?
Heihachi: Something like that. You see, I was visiting Megan and I got allergic to her cat. I should’ve known better, but I put on the eyedrops right away, so I was fine. (Pauses.) Until I went back for a movie that night.
Hidetoshi: Oh, man. That sucks. What movie?
Heihachi: Harry Potter. I have to admit, it was actually kinda good. I thought I would totally hate it, but I guess I was wrong. I’m actually looking forward to the next one.
Hidetoshi: You could always read the books.
Heihachi: Nah, they’re gay.
GLAY: Have you ever read them before?
Heihachi: Nope, don’t wanna. They’re kids books, and they’re dumb. I hate them.
Hidetoshi: (Shakes his head.) I don’t know about you sometimes.
GLAY: Anyway, you got sick?
Heihachi: (Nods.) Yep. I came home and stayed up a bit late to work on Tawainai Seimei A™, which is coming along quite nicely now, and my sinuses started to act up. A day later, my throat was irritated. After that, I started coughing, and now my nose is stuffy and runny.
Hidetoshi: Well, that sucks. So… (Pauses.) … about Tawainai Seimei A™?
Heihachi: (Laughs.) Yeah, I changed a lot! I changed Sakura’s character, and changed some of the characters’ names, and finished editing about 20 episodes so far! Not bad for this week, eh?
Hidetoshi: What about the manga?
Heihachi: (Blankly.) Uhh… well, that’s kinda coming along… just sitting in the back, that’s all.
Hidetoshi: Did you even get any drawing done?!
Heihachi: (In a small voice.) No.
Hidetoshi: Come on, にいさん, you keep complaining about how you suck at drawing and here you are, not even practicing! Did you even doodle?
Heihachi: No. I should, though. However, I came up with a neat way to implement the game for the manga!
Hidetoshi: Err… you need graphics for the game, right?
Heihachi: Err… yeah.
Hidetoshi: Like I said. You need practice.
GLAY: Hidetoshi’s right. You can only get better with practice. You already know that you can k0d3 with the best of them if you wanted to. Comps are nothing to you. You’re already l33t. You might as well develop your other skillz.
Heihachi: (Nods.) You’re right. I should keep that in mind. However, I do have a seven-year-old series to finish, so I want to get that done. I’m really bad with not finishing things because I always start too many new things. The first thing I ever finished is probably that Journey into the Void™ movie fict for HIOS.
Hidetoshi: Ack. Still gotta read that.
Heihachi: Hey, how exactly are you here, anyway? I thought you were job hunting in Winnipeg.
Hidetoshi: (Grins.) I am. I just entered the fictional realm to make my scheduled appearance in today’s RantFict.
Tric: (While getting big air.) ハーイハーイハーイ!
Heihachi: Err… right.
GLAY: We need new characters.
Heihachi: (Groans.) Maybe later… man, I need sleep. I stayed up late to get Byron’s computer done. That, and I also watched Love Undercover.
Hidetoshi: What’s that?
Heihachi: A very funny Chinese movie with Miriam Yeung.
Hidetoshi: Ah. Cool. Anyway, are we done here? I have to return to my physical form in Winnipeg.
Heihachi: Yeah, we’re done. Well, at least until the next RantFict.
GLAY: Dude, this one kinda sucked.
Heihachi: I’m half-asleep. Leave me alone.


Heihachi typed up a “classified ad” of sorts on the rant space of his website with a grin on his face. Hopefully, if all went well, somebody would reply soon. He perused the ad once over, making sure that he didn’t miss anything.Ad: “Wanted. Mint, unopened copies of the following CDs – Hamasaki Ayumi: KANARIYA (Japan Version), and Hamasaki Ayumi: appears (Japan Version). Please send an e-mail if you have any questions. Business will be conducted arbitrarily through eBay, using PayPal as the payment medium. Thanks for looking!”

After making sure that the ad was satisfactory, he saved it and uploaded it to his rant space… then he went to play SSX Tricky.

Readers: (Tear drops appear on their heads.) …

Additional Resources

The one with all the Lesson Reviews.

I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with this blog ever since I started using Hummingbird last fall. So, I decided to try an idea of mine called Lesson Reviews. Essentially, it’s more of a “what I learned from X anime” than a review, but the thing is, there will be good and […]

Speak Your Mind