Heihachi sat on the couch instead of in front of the computer for once, playing SSX Tricky on his PS2. Sammi sat to the left of him with Hidetoshi to the right, munching on some chips. Tric was playing Diablo II on a computer and GLAY was busy reading a novel, seated in front of Heihachi’s computer, which was playing some J-Pop.
Hidetoshi: Niisan, you play as good as.
Heihachi: Thank you it assure to hearing.
Sammi: Umm… hey, what’s up with the bad English?
Hidetoshi: No weird.
Heihachi: We getting melty feeling.
Sammi: (Inches away from them.) Okay, I’m officially afraid.
Kokia suddenly came downstairs with an ice cream cone. Sammi immediately rushed over.
Sammi: Hey, something’s wrong with those two.
Kokia: What do you mean?
Sammi: They’re talking very… strange.
Kokia: (Turns to Heihachi.) Uncle? What’s going on?
Heihachi: Nothing going. Feel fine!!
Hidetoshi: Play game. Eat snack. Enjoy crispy life!
Kokia: That IS strange.
GLAY: (Looking up from his book.) You mean he never acts like that in the future?
Kokia: (Shakes her head.) Not that I know of. (Furrows her brow in thought.) It DOES seem familiar though…
Hidetoshi: Niisan, you eat! Ruffles 3-D’s! The chip you eat carefully to savouring whole goodness inside! Enjoy it the taste!
Heihachi: Other is the crispy flavor!
Kokia: Wait a second, I remember now! They’re speaking Engrish!
Tric: Don’t you mean English?
Kokia: No, Engrish! It’s bad English, Japanese style! Uncle and Hidetoshi used to speak it when I was younger.
GLAY: … Disturbing.
Heihachi: But is neat you take.
GLAY: (Icily.) Don’t talk to me. (Goes back to his book.)
Hidetoshi: No sleep making big problem. Solve problem it life one way. Hard work but satisfy the need to!
Heihachi: (Nods.) True.
GLAY: (Pulls at his hair in frustration.) Why can’t you two speak normally, dammit?!?!
Kokia: (With an evil grin.) You take it the snack to relief the pain naturally go!!
GLAY: (Runs away.) AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!
Tric: (Laughs.) That take good. Make the heart laugh it not he awaying.
Sammi: Oh my god, it’s infectious. I’m gonna let this blow over. (Leaves.)
Everybody stared at each other.
Heihachi: She’s not crazy.
Hidetoshi: She’s quite normal.
Heihachi: No hysteric screaming or anything.
Hidetoshi: She didn’t join in either. She just left. Quietly.
Heihachi: Where the hell did you find her?
Kokia: She was sitting in the food court at a mall in Vancouver and we just started talking.
Kokia: She’s actually not all that girlish. I wonder why I brought her here for you, anyway?
Heihachi: (Shrugs.) Oh, well. She’s not really my type. I like girls that act cute.
Kokia: (In a sweet tone.) I know, you even made sure that I acted cute while I was growing up!
Heihachi: (Grins.) Yep, that sounds like me.
Kokia: (Pouts.) Unfortunately, all the boys at school wouldn’t stop hitting on me. (Grins wolfishly.) That’s when I showed them my tough side! Heh heh heh… (Cracks her knuckles.)
Hidetoshi: Niisan, I think that you’re gonna be making a big mistake.
Heihachi: Heh. I know.
Hidetoshi: And knowing the end results, you’re still gonna do it?!?!
Heihachi: That’s the plan! (Laughs maddeningly.) OHOHOHOHOHO!!!
Hidetoshi: (Covers his eyes with his hands.) Oh, dear god.
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